Our communities can light us up
Creating a community depends on who we acknowledge as belonging in our community.
Let’s start by considering people from our pasts. Worldwide Candle Lighting Day gets celebrated the second Sunday every December. Despite its occurrence during many holidays, it has nothing to do with them. This virtual 24-hour global candle lighting ceremony demonstrates compassionate support for families grieving the loss their children. Today, local churches, funeral homes, hospitals, hospices, schools, cemeteries, memorial gardens, and community centers support hundreds of Worldwide Candle Lighting Day gatherings. Now take a moment to light a candle for anyone you’ve ever lost. Everyone was someone’s child. Lift up them and all children who have died with gratitude for all they’ve brought to the world
This weekend the Seattle School District Department of Racial Equity used the theme of ubuntu—the collection of values and practices held by people of Africa or of African origin. Ubuntu encompasses our human interdependence while acknowledging our responsibility to our fellow humans and the world around us. Archbishop Desmond Tutu described ubuntu, “I am a human because I belong. I participate. I share.”
African intellectual historian Michael Onyebuchi Eze highlights four features of ubuntu:
First, our humanity represents a quality we owe to each other. We create each other and we need to sustain this creation of otherness. Anytime we feel different or alienated, we have stretched the established limits we’ve known. We make the universe larger.
Second, wealth and its distribution have new meaning when we remember that everyone has different skills and strengths. Through mutual support we can help each other to complete ourselves.
Third, we can let warmth guide our treatment of strangers and members of our communities. Nelson Mandela explained Ubuntu with this response to travelers through the country. When travelers stop at a village, the villagers need no request before giving food and attending to them. This warm generosity does not mean self-sacrifice. Warmth entails mutual care.
Finally, since everyone makes mistakes that can cause intentional and unintentional harm, we all depend on “redemption”. South Africa’s Interim Constitution encouraged, “There is a need for understanding but not for vengeance, a need for reparation but not for retaliation, a need for ubuntu but not for victimization” The truth and reconciliation council believed in Ubuntu as the means to help reform and reconnect their broken country of South Africa. Who finds themselves living in an unbroken world?
Light a candle in thanks and blessing or choose to practice any feature of ubuntu.
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amare’ from 12-11-22 Service
Belonging
Today my teachers taught about belonging and its impacts on a healthy life.
Many of us may know that research has demonstrated how attachment and belonging in our earliest relationships form the foundation for how we move through our lives and how we form future relationships. Strong attachments create opportunities for health and well-being. Little ones that don’t form attachments with other people struggle in all sorts of ways—physically and emotionally.
The experiences of not belonging can lead us to create an-almost automatic response of excluding ourselves. Doesn’t it feel easier to reject others than to have others reject us?
Brene Brown encouraged her readers, “Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don’t belong because you will always find it. Stop walking through the world looking for evidence that you are not enough because you will always find it.”
We can choose to belong in spite of people and events and circumstances. We can start, most simply, by belonging to ourselves.
To build a sense of belonging, consider these questions. When did you or do you feel you most belonged? When did you or do you feel you haven’t or don’t belong? When you do belong, how does that change how you interact with others? If I start by belonging to myself, there are next steps, and additional ways that my sense of belonging can increase
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan from 11-04-22
Keys to our dream homes
Find the keys to our dream homes in our hearts and minds. Discover how to unlock the possibility and joy of being at home wherever we go.
First, consider our understanding of home as daily representations of our ideals. What brings us joy? How do we feel facing the notion that we come into our lives perfect, whole, and complete? What if our life journeys allow us to become our best possible selves?
Second, with Harry Chapin’s song Cats in the Cradle, we might see the opposite of ideals, our disappointments within our homes. The narrator of the song puts off sharing events with his son. “When you comin’ home dad? I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then. You know we’ll have a good time then.” Our lives invariably confront us with misfortunes, missed opportunities, and unfulfilled dreams. However, as breaks in bones form stronger bones, confronting and living through fears and disappointments transforms us.
Finally, we can choose home-making practices wherever we live, every day. Consider these “Rathers”. Rather than denying our circumstances, we deny their power over us and face challenges head-on. Rather than blaming, shaming, making excuses, and seeing ourselves as victims, we can assume full responsibility for our thoughts, feelings and actions and then act to remedy situations. Rather than holding onto what does not serve us, we can let it go.
We come into this human experience as a perfect, whole, and complete. By entertaining that idea and feeling, we can find a home wherever we go. We might so embody our ideals that others find themselves at home in our presence and in their own. Together, we can pass beyond disappointments, moving with power and compassion.
Rev. Vaughan from week 11-27-22
Preparing for this week
Today my teachers reminded me of the story about the shifting fortune of the farmer and his nosey neighbor. One day, the farmer’s horse escaped from his property. The neighbor offered sympathy, “Too bad about you losing your horse!” The farmer responded, “Maybe it is or maybe it isn’t.” And you may remember that the next day the horse returned, and a herd of wild mares came back with him. The neighbor jumped up and down with excitement, “What a great fortune!” Again, the farmer replied, “Maybe it is or maybe it isn’t.” The next day the farmer’s son tried to tame the herd, got thrown from the horses, and broke his leg. The neighbor quickly judged, “You can’t run your farm without your son. Your luck is terrible.” Of course, the farmer replied, “Maybe it is or maybe it isn’t.” The following day, the emperor passed conscription on all the healthy men in the kingdom. You can imagine the conversation
How many times do we play the role of the neighbor quickly judging things as good and bad? Have we navigated negative feelings with idealized images which end up creating more resentment? During this time as people prepare to gather for Thanksgiving dinners do we find ourselves poised between dread or delight? As we picture our futures around those meals, are we imagining past unsettled arguments, previous slights and grievances, regret for people we won’t see, or excitement and joyful anticipation?
My teachers reflected on the study of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE’s) and recounted how most people have had some adverse experiences. Questions that this raises: how much do I choose to use my experiences to “one-up” other people’s stories; how much do I hold onto those stories as cornerstones of my identity? We can look at our stories and re-write our roles in those stories. As we head into this holiday, consider if you might be ready to see your stories with less judgment and to feel genuine gratitude for how broken hearts, like broken bones, may become stronger. Happy Thanksgiving!
Rev. Vaughan from 11-20-22 Service
Whether or not home has met your needs and expectations
My teacher reminded me that we come from many different kinds of homes. Sometimes our families saw us and loved us in our full authenticity. On other occasions, our family members may not have had all the skills and insights to contribute to the fulfillment of our needs. No matter how our backgrounds have shaped us, we can choose to deliberately create homes and places of loving acceptance for everyone we encounter. In the movie Home Alone, the protagonist, Kevin, exchanges disregard and disrespect with members of his family. Yet, comically, he chooses to defend the home they share. His family returns seeing very little evidence of days of havoc; they can see new, unexpected capacities for responsibility (“You did the laundry!”)
We can look to our ideals of home. Take time with the still, small voice. What do we leave behind and what do we carry forward? How good can our visions and practices of home-making be?Consider this affirmation: My home brings out the best in me and others.
Rev. Vaughan from 11-13-22 Service
This month my teachers will focus on wisdom related to “home‘. Consider this poem by Starhawk:
“We are all longing to go home, to some place we have never been — a place half-remembered and half-envisioned we can only catch glimpses of from time to time. Community. Somewhere, there are people to whom we can speak with passion without having the words catch in our throats. Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us, eyes will light up as we enter, voices will celebrate with us whenever we come into our own power. Community means strength that joins our strength to do the work that needs to be done. Arms to hold us when we falter. A circle of healing. A circle of friends. Someplace where we can be free.”
Joseph Campbell taught about heroic journeys which typically start and end at home. People may find themselves dismissing myths and fictions. However, we can let the truths they carry inspire and uplift. They teach us that “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”
Heroic journeys consist of three phases. First, with departure the heroic person leaves their ordinary world, typically with guidance from a mentor. Second initiation involvesourdevelopment of strength through trials and tribulations, with the help of allies and friends. Finally, our challenges transform us before we return home.
Where are you in your heroic journey? Have you found home within your hearts, close as your breath?
Rev. Vaughan from 11-06-22 Service
“Rev. Vaughan’s Eight Prosperity Secrets”
Do you remember being a child and feeling the thrill of having a secret? My teacher today offered a series of secrets that can change my life.
First, we’ve heard money called “currency,” but what kind of thoughts have we given to the meaning of the word. Currents and currencies run and flow with energy. We know that moneys come to us and go from us. When we pay our bills, we can choose our feeling of woe with money going, or joy for what it brought us.
Second, we may choose to appreciate every fortune small or large. We can obsess over size or we can center ourselves in gratitude and let that expand everything that comes to us.
Third, prosperity/abundance/plenty may simply involve our mindset. Take a minute everyday and contemplate how much fills the universe around and within us. We cannot count the stars or the grains of sand or the molecules of water.
Fourth, we can believe in more than what we see. Good things may come to us, in ways beyond what we can imagine and hold in mind.
Fifth, consider our beliefs in and judgments of people who differ from us. Sticking with our beliefs and judgments blocks our flow and the flow of good to us.
Sixth, let’s honor and respect ourselves. Let’s say “yes,” to ourselves and say “no,” when the times come to receive care. Do we value ourselves? If not, how can we value other things?
Seventh, beyond respect, let’s treat ourselves and others to genuine generosity. This involves continually creating expansive hearts.
Finally, declutter our lives. Do we stuff wallets with receipts or cards? Do we stuff our homes with things we never use and don’t want (but think we should have)? Declutter our thoughts by replacing them with what contributes to feelings of gratitude.
Finally, my teacher recommended the deliberate practice of starting and ending every day with contemplations of gratitude. What feelings and possibilities might come to us?
Rev. Vaughan
From service on October 30, 2022
“Money…What is it Good For?”
My teachers reacquainted me with ways to thrive and flourish in all areas of my life. They proposed that if our past thoughts and feelings contribute to what we have now, then we can change our thoughts and feelings today. In the next moment we can become magnets for more good things. Quantum physics shows us that observation affects what we observe.
Do we focus on what we have or what we don’t have? Have we accepted a lack-based mindset as second nature?
Are we impatient and demanding about what we want—fixated on what we want and where it is and when it will arrive?
Are we worried that what we want won’t come?
Do we feel we deserve what we want? Or have we set conditions about receiving—for example, when we lose weight, organize, or declutter?
Do we appreciate what we already have? Do we have a place to stay, clean water, food, companions who care about us?
Do we have negative beliefs about having what we need or more than what we need?
Do we carry grudges and resentments, feeling entitled to hold past insults and injuries?
Do we speak about high costs and how we can’t afford thigs?
Do the ways we think about having enough make us feel good or bad?
When we wake up, if we see challenges maybe that suggests we carry hidden beliefs that we have the capacities to address those challenges. Maybe we carry abundance we haven’t acknowledged. Maybe if we get out of the way, we can make ways where we saw no way.
In Loving Spirit
Rev Vaughan Amaré
From service on October 23, 2022
“Let it Go to Let it Flow”
Let’s suppose we live in an infinitely abundant Universe including love, health, financial freedom, creativity and more. However, conscious, and unconscious beliefs about lack and limitation have set rules guiding our lives. These rules choke the flow of the Infinite Good down to a mere trickle. Our work: let go and let the natural Abundance of the Universe flow in our lives.
1. The Universe is always saying, “yes.” Restrictions do not come from the Universal Flow; they happen within us in our lives and social interactions. Our thoughts, feelings and beliefs guide our lives. Do we believe in the goodness of everything including ourselves, our actions, our money? Do we believe we have value, worth and the entitlement to live well? Do we get rid of good things as soon as they come? Do we cling and hoard out of fear we will lose our good? Let’s let go of beliefs that have stopped serving us
2. Our experience of abundance comes from within us. Many people talk about the “Law of Attraction.” But “attraction” may suggest a belief that our good is “out there” away from us and we need to attract it to “here.” This mimics the thinking that the sun goes around the earth. While it seems that way as we look at the sun’s apparent movement across the sky, that is not what happens. Substitute the Law of Attraction with the Law of Expression – where what we express becomes our experience of Life. Let’s make that more conscious and deliberate.
3. Our heart’s desires guide us to what wants to be expressed through us. Too often, however, we shut them down, turn them off and stop listening. Why? We fixate on how to bring them about. The Universe will not desire through us without also providing the means to accomplish those desires. Let’s listen to our heart’s real desires. What is wanting to be expressed through us? Say “yes” even if we have no idea “how.”
Zen monks hear that to become enlightened, they have to eliminate all desire from their lives. They will go off and spend years working to release all desires. Finally, they return to their teachers and announce that they have succeeded. The teachers will nod and smile and ask, “Why did you do that?” They will come to the realization that they had a desire to be enlightened. So, sadly, they go off to release the desire to be enlightened, only to realize that they are still working in the field of desire. Eventually, they awaken to the realization that desire is the motivating energy of the universe, moving all forward. They release their desire to release their desires.
What if we replace dysfunctional beliefs with statements of Truth. Catherine Ponder offered this: I expect lavish abundance every day in every way in my life and affairs.
Rev. Vaughan
From service on October 9, 2022
“Consider Abundance”
Today my teacher reminded me how to escape from outdated beliefs about my wants and dreams. While it may be easy to consider what I want, getting it can seem impossible for it to happen.
What do I believe about my wants and dreams? Do I believe I deserve them? When considering my wants and desires, do I obsess on specific details and lose sight of possibilities that may be better than my imagination? Do I believe that they can come to me easily or must I struggle? Do I believe that others support me or stand in my way?
Based on my beliefs, what do I think and how do I act? Do I contribute to how others may meet their wants and needs? Do I fear that if someone gets what they want that blocks me from what can come to me?
Think about the universe of abundance all around us. Look to the sky at night and see more stars than you can count. Consider the deserts and seas and the grains of sand and drops of water. Think about every moment from the burst of the big bang. Reflect on the cells within our bodies, the miles of blood vessels. Remember the thoughts and words of the wise.
We may mistakenly focus on limitations, but we can turn that around. We can consider how the vast abundance of creation may kindle feelings of gratitude and hope.
Rev Vaughan Amaré
From service on October 2, 2022
“Dreamwork for Deamwork”
This month my teacher has reminded me how we can extend our passions for our world through our work. Work successes, measures, improvements, and efficiencies may either distract or remind us from our sense of meaning in our world. We can practice finding the good in our work by doing all the good that we can.
My work on the bargaining team inspired me to think about the many different teams that arise in our lives. Some teams simply happen in our lives. For example, living in families where we are born or adopted lets us gain an understanding that the world is bigger than each of us as individuals.
Sometimes we choose our teams. We try out, compete, apply and strive to join a wide array of groups. Working on these kinds of teams with others lets us reach bigger goals–set our sights higher. Such groups may lead us to ask, “Do we feel that we and our dreams are enough? If yes, how did that sense grow in us? If not, how can we reframe our sense of ourselves to be enough and accept who we are?
Sometimes, teams find us. We can discover that people we might never choose end up coming into our lives and playing roles we never imagined. These kinds of circumstances may evoke the question: Who in our lives needs their dreams affirmed? Who near us is taking a risk and needs reminding that others are watching with admiration and awe? Who needs help seeing that they are radiant?
Finally, let us consider the teams that we create when we allow ourselves to both ask for and receive help. So much of culture in the US praises independence and self-sufficiency. Yet in the actual process of living, don’t we find ourselves reliant on others. Rather than fight this, how do our lives shift when we embrace it?
Affirmation: Great dreams awaken through every team in my life!
“Set your heart on doing good. Do it over and over again, and you will be filled with joy.” ~ Buddha
“A Person’s true wealth is the good they do in this world.” ~ Muhammad
“What is essential is invisible to the eye. It is only with the heart that one sees rightly.”–Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Rev. Vaughan Amaré
From service on September 18, 2022
Loving Ourselves
This week, the lesson my teacher shared focused on loving our bodies.
How many of us imagine loving ourselves at some time in the future once we’ve achieved certain physical goals? We hold ourselves back thinking that “waiting” forms the basis for the discipline of losing these pounds, gaining this much muscle or this much capacity. We envision a certain level of health and anything that falls short of that should inspire us to future possibilities.
What if we let go of the future visions and embrace ourselves as we are right this moment? Over the next seven days, here are a series of actions we can take to practice self-love–moving back from the future and into the moment.
Monday, I name 5 things I love about my body.
Tuesday, I give myself 3 genuine compliments.
Wednesday, I wear something that brings me joy.
Thursday, I notice 3 things for which I feel grateful and I write them down.
Friday, I compare myself to who I was on Thursday, noting how I have improved.
Saturday, I name 1 amazing thing my body lets me do today.
Sunday, I write a sweet love note to myself.
Finally, as a general practice let’s try starting everyday by telling ourselves, “My amazing, awe-inspiring body lets life manifest through me.”
Let these final days of school uplift us and bring us unexpected joys.
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amare’ from Service on 6-12-22
Lessons From Pride
This month we remember queer pride, commemorating 53 years ago when people pushed to the edge fought back. They met prejudice and worn expectations with surprising force and fury. They ushered pathways that queer folk have continued to parade, promenade, and sashay.
What expectations do you want to release? What dreams do you hold? What do you imagine coming forth into existence that assumes conscious, new presence? What will you courageously embrace?
All such dreams and desires have place in our minds and hearts. We can choose and use our thoughts and feelings. We can negate our doubts and fears so that we open to new experiences where we live our desires.
We can start by simply recognizing life all around us.
When we really see life around us, we may become more aware of our own presence within that life. That life naturally includes each of us.
As part of life, the good, the dreams of our desires are taking form. This moment comes from the moment preceding it. What if we let ourselves imagine that life conspires on our behalf? Why shouldn’t our hearts desires be seeking us?
Naturally, the fulfillment of our dreams and desires engenders the most natural response of gratitude. Let ourselves feel thankful.
More good is always on its way, just like the breath that will follow the breath we have now. What if we accept that the same energy that set the stars in motion eons ago moves in our lives right now as the oncoming fulfillment of our dreams and desires?
Happy Pride, Happy Fulfillment, Happy Day!
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amaré from Service on 6-5-22
Memorial Day, Sadness and Love
Here’s hope that Memorial Day let you celebrate memories of people who fought and died for our country. This day could evoke feelings of sadness in the midst of pride and even happiness (possibly with the notion that we have arrived at what many folks consider the start of summertime).
This weekend, my teacher spoke about sorrow and how we live with and through it. Sadness may tinge many of our emotional experiences. For example, with the school shooting last week and the literal hunting of people of color in Buffalo from two weeks ago, I find myself steeped in both sadness and anger. How can we live in a time where the leading cause of death for children is shootings? How can politicians think the solution involves “hardened” doorways and armed teachers when trained police don’t respond successfully to school shootings?
Let our sadness speak to us and let us find our voices. Rather than trying to convince our sorrow to leave us, let’s respect ourselves enough to hear how our sadness can open us to growth. It may call us to love ourselves as we love people or circumstances gone from us. We can acknowledge and embrace our sadness. We may question the source of our sadness and own what the loss has to teach us
We might confront our sadness and move through it with meditation, yoga or even cries.
We might find something that uplifts us, letting laughter bring healing.
We might move our bodies with exercise–taking a walk in the sunshine or through the rain reflecting our mood. Spending time in nature may engage all of our senses.
We might reach out to our support person(s)–for people who can simply be with us and listen without judgment or desire to fix us.
We might practice reframing our thoughts. For example, if we see ourselves as the victim of some loss, as unworthy or unlovable, we might see ourselves as heroes in this moment, worthy and lovable.
I echo my teacher’s encouragement for each of us to select at least one way to love ourselves, making it a habit that becomes an automatic part of our lives.
This link provides 50 practical actions we might choose to take: https://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/practices/features/view/28908/working-with-sadness
Gratefully,
Vaughan Amare’ from Service on 5-29-22
“Face Off With Our Anger”
This week my teacher invited us to explore the emotion of anger. Informationally, anger arises with our sympathetic nervous systems guiding our fight response (among our fight/flight/freeze responses to threats). While fight may activate actions, too many of our fight hormones can interfere with our memories and trigger physical disease. Therefore, we may wonder what we might we do to manage our anger.
For starters, we can employ a long, deep, diaphragmatic breath. In that space we have created, we can stop and think. In this moment, in this circumstance that we resist, we may ask ourselves how we are contributing to this moment, this circumstance. Do we see our thoughts as things? Do we see our choice to go along with what is happening or to interrupt it? Do we let ourselves sense the energy of our feelings and the energy of others’ feelings? Do we become deliberate and intentional about the impacts we are having?
Through our anger, we may choose to be our very best. This may mean that we pause before we respond. Will we give ourselves 24 hours before speaking or sending a message? Will we bring more to our conversation than our anger driven thoughts and ideas? No one likes getting “dissed” by others. We can say yes to practicing “diss”management. Rather than wallowing in our reactivity that life and people around us are not treating us the way we feel we are supposed to be treated, we can let ourselves choose good attitude, choose gratitude, choose honesty with ourselves. We can reach toward our next step in life, rather than holding on to what life has been.
Finally, my teacher inspired the idea that I can live in the space of pre-thanks or future thanks for what is on its way towards me. How much do I change the amount of space that anger can occupy by expecting that good is coming to me today and I will look for it. I can stop making even the most aggravating experiences worse with making it all about me and choosing to look for the highest and best for all people concerned.
Navigate your anger well. Let its energy serve you so that you serve yourself and all those around you!
Gratefully,
Vaughan Amare’ from Service on 5-22-22
It’s okay to let ourselves find happiness
“To enjoy health, bring happiness and peace, one must discipline one’s mind. Find the way to enlightenment and wisdom. What you think, you become.” The Buddha
“If we are not in contact with pain, we cannot know what real happiness is.” Thich Nhat Hahn, Anger
Two mass shootings happened over the weekend. War continues in places across the world. Prejudice and hatred keep vying for control. How can it be okay to feel okay, much less feel joy?
Our bodies are designed for a full range of feelings. Our intricately developed nervous systems can fight or flee or freeze. Happiness may arise as we choose to celebrate the majesty from the shooting victim who spent her life as a mother to the motherless. What if we choose to honor people and circumstances with smiles, laughter, dance and song?
We can let loss and suffering overwhelm us and we can also choose to respond by seeking joy–not as cover ups but as counteractions and responses of loving creativity. We might still feel good about living.
• Feel gratitude for the smallest miracles and blessings.
• Look to the unexpected.
• Turn attention to what we want rather than thinking about what we have to do.
• Give from the space of abundance and gratitude; loving acts of kindness brings the giver and receiver joy.
• Chasing happiness is like a cat chasing its tail, forgetting that it (the tail and happiness) naturally follows.
To experience joy, look within. Stop relying on others to make us happy; find it from within. Treasure hunt to discover our own sources of joy. Perhaps they’ve been hiding from us or we’ve prevented ourselves from exploring joy.
Explicitly declare joy like the children’s song If You’re Happy and You Know It declaring and affirming happiness. Acts of participating in song, dance, and movement can all inspire ourselves and others.
Have you ever heard or sung “Let There be Peace on Earth”? Its lyrics claim that peace begins with me. What if happiness and joy work the same way. Happiness takes commitment and choice. When we individually choose to live from happiness, peace, and joy we can also make a positive impact on others. When we do our part, happiness positively enhances our own lives while also enhancing others’ lives.
We can learn to flip our stories of drudgery, death and suffering by shifting our perspective. We see things as opportunities for learning and growth. Elie Wiesel inspired me with his story of finding beauty on the way to a death camp. He was entitled to bitterness, but he generated something else. We can learn to expect the unexpected, look for miracles at every turn. As we look less to others to bring us fulfillment and happiness and more to ourselves and the treasures within, we are more apt to realize that happiness DOES begin within us.
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amare’ from Service on 5-15-22
Friend or Foe
This weekend, my teacher turned my attention to the roles of fear in my life. Carrying forward the idea that all of my emotions and feelings exist for purposes, fear does serve me. That time I got burned, that time I got shocked—those sensations taught me about physical dangers and fear carries those memories forward to protect me. I wouldn’t have lasted long if I kept putting my fingers in boiling water or electrical sockets.
However, fear can also let me stay small if I let it hold me back needlessly. Rather than over-apply the old lessons of fear, I can lean into trust that capacities and abilities and courage will emerge. Susan Jeffers advised, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”
For an important birthday, my husband and friends decided they would go tandem jumping from a plane. I went along because it seemed important to witness the event. I had brought along my work computer and thought I could work on reports during the “slow parts” of his process—training, take-off of the plane, walking back from the field after he landed on the ground from the jump. Then I thought about myself sitting out and writing. What kind of person would it make me to stay so passive—to watch parts of his adventure while I filled my time with elaborating on test scores?
For both of us during that jump from the plane, we felt the moments of life in whole new ways. The chilling rush of the air, the weightlessness, the speed. Those moments falling from 16,000 feet allowed time to feel different without consideration of the past or the future, but a complete immersion in the present: the wonder of the sky and the earth, the plane and the expert with me who trained and trusted me to pull the parachute cord.
Fear may protect us. Fear may keep us small. Fear may call us to grow into something larger than we imagined. Fear may help us prepare and push ourselves. We may respond with choices of cowering in the back or pressing forward. We have choices in the face of fear. If we give ourselves permission to imagine the best outcomes rather than the worst ones, we can engage in three simple practices: get quiet; get still; and raise questions in that stillness. Explore what fear has to share by reflecting, accepting (acknowledging with is) and releasing.
We can love our fear and realize that we don’t have to live in it. Be well with your fears and see how magnificent you are.
Rev. Vaughan Amare’ From Sunday Service on 5-8-22
May Day Lesson
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you let them feel.” Maya Angelou
This weekend reminders came to me for how to navigate my emotions and feelings. The subtle difference between them involves the fact that emotions arise in our bodies from brain-based neurotransmitters in response to circumstances, while feelings represent our conscious experience of those emotions (the stories we tell). Taken together they help us learn more about ourselves, guiding reflection, exploration, and growth.
Obviously, I can’t speak about your experiences, but I can speak to mine. My family let me believe that some feelings were “good” and others “bad.” Furthermore, particular feelings belonged exclusively to specific people; so my dad owned anger and my mom owned sadness. This led me to berate myself when certain emotions occurred, contributing to beliefs that ultimately hid and sabotaged my heart’s desires. By facing our emotions and looking underneath them, we may learn how these hidden beliefs originated. We can do the necessary healing work to process them instead of hiding from or ignoring them.
Welcoming our emotions means looking them directly in the face and seeing what they have to say. I came to think of my emotional life as a banquet hall. I had tried to exclude some feelings, but they never left the room. Instead, they hid out under the table tying my feet to the table or chairs—leading me to trip and fall when I wanted to get up. Letting the full scope of my feelings into consciousness requires humility, courage, and strength. Practices can help with that such as journaling, meditating, or working with someone. Learning to listen more deeply let me explore areas in my emotional spectrum. What might you find?
We usually experience a variety of emotions simultaneously, since we have so many emotions in our emotional spice rack. For me, balancing all that is works far better than wishing and hoping some feelings simply go away. Exclusive focus on joy or sadness or fear makes me miss the full messages coming to me. Let all the feelings share their wisdom. Given the extreme local, national, and global events and circumstances over the past couple of years, many of us have lived on hyper drive emotionally. It takes ongoing efforts to work through these opportunities of emotional learning and healing.
Like anything in life, practice makes perfect in maintaining emotional health and balance in our lives. Start by staying aware of our emotions and feelings. Welcome them. Create balance by giving ourselves compassion and love.
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amare’ From Sunday Service on 5-01-22
Reminders to me:
This weekend acquainted me with a song by Peruquois called, “Be Yourself”. The first line directs: Be yourself, everyone else is taken.
We may hear encouragements to be ourselves; yet we also experience nearly countless directives to become something else. Think of the folks who line up to dictate what they think we should think and what we should do. How many times have we set aside our visions and dreams because they would not let us “pay the bills”?
Please accept the following questions as ways to get closer to our authentic selves.
What do I do because I love doing it?
What activities so fill me that I lose track of time?
What makes my heart sing?
Where am I most at home in my own skin?
We can find ways to listen to others and hold onto our perspectives, by stretching our perspectives to see the universe is larger than we have understood. Rather than fearing that our weaknesses and vulnerabilities reflect deficiencies, we can entertain them as our first steps on our journeys. What would happen if we blessed our obstacles rather than cursing them. What would happen if we recognized our capacity to rise majestically to challenges rather than seeing ourselves as the victims of our obstacles?
To be ourselves means to claim our majesty, to see our worth, to tap into the power of creation that lets each new moment unfold across both space and time.
I celebrate your awesome self!
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amare’, From Sunday Service on 4-24-22
Thoughts
Hoping this message finds you refreshed and delighted after the spring break!
This weekend marked the continuation of Ramadan, as well as the Jewish celebration of Passover and some Christian faiths’ identification of Easter. I would propose that common components involve renewal and freedom. That leads me to ask, “How might we choose to open lives more fully to renewal and freedom?”
My teacher gave me ideas about this. She used to work as a flight attendant. The airlines directed her and her colleagues to pack two bags before every job. The one bag included the physical things that would lead to comfort and safety such as a good pair of walking shoes and extra clothes. The second bag would hold worries and they received instruction to leave that bag behind.
Each day we get to embrace how we face the day and the series of new moments it offers. Do we carry old feelings of worry, anger, and the sense of ourselves as victim? To make shifts we can consider what we’ve learned from our mistakes. We can replace our identification of ourselves as victims and claim our part in situations. We can set intentions. Finally, we can give ourselves what we need to see our own greatness AND the greatness all around us.
Here’s a toast to your greatness, your freedom and your renewal.
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amare’ This is from Sunday Service 4-17-22
Good morning,
To what extent do I let the routines of my life let me lose sight of each wondrous new moment? This breath, the one that came in just now, brings me life right now. Yet, regularly I let this breath and this moment pass without pausing to give thanks for this breath and this moment. I did not do anything to make this breath and this moment happen–it came to me as a gift. Can I take more moments to give thanks? Every moment is different in time. Every morning is a new rebirth. With what decisions do I face this gift? How much do I carry old worries, resentments and fears forward, filling my life with what does not make it better? What is longing to be born? What may come forth in my life? Raymond Holliwell proposed, “When we exchange our thinking for the better, we change our lives for the better.” I can choose nourishing thoughts and feelings for my mind, body and soul. Gandhi had written, “Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. The next morning when I wake up, I’m reborn and made new.” What if I look to the springtime around me and choose to emerge green, tender and alive, pushing through the soil of my past and reaching towards the light?
Respectfully, Rev. Vaughan Amaré from 4-3-22 Service
Greetings,
White, western culture almost continually murmurs, “We prove our worth with what we accomplish. There’s no time to waste. We need to catch up, get ahead, do the most, and do the best.”
What if the truth about us gets drowned out in the rush of staying busy? In frenzy, we may hide from our difficult feelings, relationships, conversations, and self-reflection. Rest lets us truly see ourselves. Upon waking from rest, we might realize we are already enough. We might realize we have everything we need within us.*
Thich Nhat Hanh wrote, “We humans have lost the wisdom of genuinely resting and relaxing. We worry too much. We don’t allow our bodies… minds and hearts to heal. It is very important that we relearn the art of resting and relaxing. Not only does it prevent the onset of many illnesses that develop through chronic tension and worrying; it allows us to clear our minds, focus, and find creative solutions to problems.”
Brene Brown says, “It takes courage to say ‘Yes’ to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol.”
Our physical bodies need rest, bringing us balance and recharging us for new activities. Anyone with a pet knows that their pet has mastered practice of rest. Doctors tell us rest reduces stress and allows the body to heal. Sleep experts describe how dreams enhance creativity because new and old memories interact and network in ways we could not have imagined or designed. We find new solutions. Furthermore, during dreams we can re-experience our memories without the negative feelings embroiled with those memories.
Judaism’s Holy Book (the Torah) identified rest as the final action of creation—not as some need for restoration or reward for a job well-done, but as the delightful opportunity to celebrate creation’s beauty. Artists tell us that rest allows us to connect with our inner creativity and problem-solving capacities. Rest gives us time to dig into the delight and wonder of life – deep, lingering talks with good friends, sweet periods of meditation and self-reflection, time to be still and listen.
With all of this in mind, what if we deliberately, simply take time and make time to rest. This may be as simple as stopping to take a deliberate breath in and another breath out. Resist the urge to fill rest time with appointments, fun or not. Give yourself unscheduled time. When you try to rest, what thoughts come up for you? What distractions emerge, and how do you handle them? What tends to keep you from scheduling rest for yourself? What can you put into place to support and honor your intention to rest and relax? What commitments are you prepared to make to yourself?
* I’ve copied the link to a song by Fearless Soul that really helped me remember that I am more than the messages and stories that culture wants me to believe. I am so much more than what I do. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFQ7qiqm6WA
Rev. Vaughan Amaré from 3-20-22 Service
Good morning,
We all know the recommendations for staying healthy. We should eat healthy foods in appropriate portions. We should get physical exercise. We should consider how to live a life balanced with time for work and for relationships and for play. We should consider the people we have in our lives. We know that some of our companions can witness us as we truly are and see beyond what we can see of ourselves. The “shoulds” in our lives can feel like burdens or heavy weights to carry.
What happens when we deliberately add laughter, humor and joy as daily elements? I grew up with newspapers. Whatever the headlines had to say, I could turn to the section of comics see the world through that humorous lens.
Imagine that we can walk into a room of people arguing or a room of people laughing. Which room will we enter? Humor can lighten our burdens, connect us, ground us, make us more alert. Laughter changes the chemistry of our blood, changing how we feel and how our bodies can respond. We can choose to bless and even laugh at annoyances rather than curse them. We can speed through experiences of resentment. Humor can be fun, free and easy to use. We can be the room of laughter. The serious world remains in our midst, but we can meet it in new ways. It’s our choice. What if we let ourselves enjoy that choice?
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amare’, from 3-13-22 Service
“A Spoonful of Humor”
Good morning,
We all know the recommendations for staying healthy. We should eat healthy foods in appropriate portions. We should get physical exercise. We should consider how to live a life balanced with time for work and for relationships and for play. We should consider the people we have in our lives. We know that some of our companions can witness us as we truly are and see beyond what we can see of ourselves. The “shoulds” in our lives can feel like burdens or heavy weights to carry.
What happens when we deliberately add laughter, humor and joy as daily elements? I grew up with newspapers. Whatever the headlines had to say, I could turn to the section of comics see the world through that humorous lens.
Imagine that we can walk into a room of people arguing or a room of people laughing. Which room will we enter? Humor can lighten our burdens, connect us, ground us, make us more alert. Laughter changes the chemistry of our blood, changing how we feel and how our bodies can respond. We can choose to bless and even laugh at annoyances rather than curse them. We can speed through experiences of resentment. Humor can be fun, free and easy to use. We can be the room of laughter. The serious world remains in our midst, but we can meet it in new ways. It’s our choice. What if we let ourselves enjoy that choice?
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amaré
Good Morning,
In the midst of suffering and loss (unprovoked war in the Ukraine, murders by police, fires leaving some people whole and others dead), we may find ourselves challenged to have any faith that things can turn around. One element in that challenge involves our expectation that life has an obligation to turn things around for us.
Try this experiment. Consider the possibility that joy surrounds us. In the midst of tragedy, joy remains accessible. However, we have to remain open to the presence of joy. It may present itself in the smallest details around us. We notice a fragrance. We see a bloom. We hear the laughter of children. A terrible joke or unexpected juxtaposition triggers an unexpected smile.
Moment by moment, we have the opportunity to choose where and how we set our attention. We can consciously choose to look for where joy may reside.
We may have told ourselves that holding onto a level-headed, serious orientation reflects how adulthood should operate. Music, dancing, artwork, and creativity surround us, filtering through and leaping over tragedy. We can be vaster than seriousness.
See joy as something up close and personal. Cultivate it by making space for play that lights us up. Let go of the message that play is frivolous. Return it to its centrality in our lives. As babies, our fingers and feet likely served as our first toys providing us with delight. No one needed to teach us how to feel pleasure or respond with laughter.
Therefore, try the experiment of seeking ways to play, giggle, and celebrate even the smallest moments of pleasure.
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amaré from 3-06-22 service
Welcome back from break!
I hope you used your time away from school in ways that find you rested or energized or whatever way you imagined could happen.
Yesterday my teacher invited me to consider how fear and love fit together as parts of my life. Our bodies adjusted over time with fear as a response to the world as a way to protect us. Our ancestors wnt away from their home in search of food or other necessities and a wild animal crossed their path. Fear equipped their bodies for fight, flight, or freezing. Such outcomes of fear kept them safe. While society advanced, our bodies still have the fear response. Our exposure to daily danger has decreased for may of us, but our fear response remains poised and ready. A story can trigger us and guide us towards fear as fast as the animal across our ancestors’ paths.
What might we do? First, we can acknowledge what scares us. Second, we can consciously choose how to respond. Maybe we find a particular (and I dare suggest, a false belief) has gotten triggered. For example, are we falling back to believing something like “I’m not good enough”? We might live our lives like a science experiment where we choose to imagine and believe that goodness is always, everywhere present. Jim Carey encouraged people to consider, “Hope walks through fire, but faith leaps over it.” What if we choose to believe ideas that uplift and encourage ourselves.
We can choose to love ourselves. Do you remember the story of the indigenous grandfather speaking with his grandson? Grandfather said that two wolves live fighting inside us. One lives from our darkness (our jealousy, greed, anger, fear, misery, and anguish). The other lives from our light (our kindness, compassion, generosity, love, peace, grace, courage, and bliss). Grandson asked, “Which one will win?” Grandfather responded simply, “The one we feed is the one that wins.”
We may face fear during so many times in our lives. We may see those times as opportunities where we may love. This once in a lifetime moment (living in a pandemic, in a land war in Europe, in a climate where people praise cruelty and murderer) can call forward our capacity ground ourselves in the belief that our love can change us and that, in turn, can change the world.
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amaré from 2-27-22 service
Happy Valentine’s Day
Wishing you a day to remember that love shows up in many different and delightful ways. Perhaps we’ve let advertisers convince us that we’re supposed to purchase jewelry or chocolates or other things as grand romantic gestures for our “one true love”. If we find ourselves in romantic relationships that may be fine, but if we don’t, then we may spend the day obsessing about how something is missing. Please consider that genuine love, like wisdom, beauty and joy, assumes limitless expressions. Therefore, romance only accounts for a fraction of how we can give and receive love.
As a little child, this day gave me the chance to share little notes with everyone in my class. That included boys and girls, people that liked me, tolerated me, avoided me and even teased or ridiculed me. This gave me a day to treat everyone with care no matter how they thought about me. Valentine’s day offered the first lesson that others’ opinions of me mattered less than typically occurred to me. This day let me choose to act with love and care and kindness—and that taught me something about me. I could and can express love no matter what I think or feel. Loving actions can arise with intentions for how to be in the world—how to contribute to the world.
Please accept this celebration of you as you contribute to the world, as your myriad ways of showing love bring greater good, joy, peace, kindness and wholeness to the world.
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amare’ from 2-14-22 Sunday Service
My teacher this weekend reminded me that many of us ask the questions, “Who am I? Why am I here?” He offered the simple response that we are the places where life shows up—we are the means through which life expresses itself. He went on to identify his own personal answer for why he is here: to love and to learn.
Think about what excites you and inspires your passions. Each of us finds that life offers thrilling majesty. Yet we can lose sight of this when we fall asleep in daily roles, routines, and parts we play. We give up our uniqueness when we cling to what others think we should be. We may let fear lead us to sabotage our efforts to feel the thrill that life naturally offers us.
In her song, I Am Light, India Aria declares the fundamental nature of her identity. You can watch her perform this piece in the link below. Pay attention to the simple affirmation “Worthy,” seen behind her as she sings. I join with her to invite you to celebrate your worthiness. Take a moment and envision all the people whose love has brought you into the world—your ancestors, your teachers, your family, your friends, those you teach. As you picture this crowd, imagine their love and a golden light streaming from them to you. Now you can choose. Do you put that light under a bushel or do you add to that light sending it forward in anticipation of a wondrous future?
Our thoughts, actions, and choices all let us declare who we are and what we are here to do.
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amare’, from 2-06-22 Sunday Service
Hello!
Elements of looking anew at the world with wonder involve questions, curiosity and adventure.
Did you know that children typically ask 70-100 questions every day, while adults restrict themselves to 20? Furthermore, adult questions tend to refer to close-ended questions like “What’s for dinner?” or “What should we watch on tv?” The famous teacher, Jesus of Nazareth claimed how being child-like helps us enter the realm of heaven. Rather than interpreting that proposal as an instruction for how to receive a reward after we die, consider that heaven means a state of mind and being available to us. Our ability to keep asking questions of the world opens us to joyous possibilities as available as the pleasure that comes with taking a deep breath right now.
Our sense of curiosity may allow us to live in our questions and the spaces they open rather than the limits of closed, answered responses. We can choose to enjoy the mystery in our questions. Mary O’Malley wrote, “Asking a question signals to life that we are ready to live the answer, and then life lives it through us at the appropriate time.”
With questioning curiosity we step beyond what we know. We open to living life as an adventure. Consider telling yourself this statement through the days during this week: “I ask new questions and allow the answers to come.”
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amare’, from 1-23-22 Sunday Service
Better Late Than Never
When the message for Sunday came, the day for normally sharing it would have been Martin Luther King Jr.’s Day. However that deserved focused attention for us to hold our hearts and minds on how his brilliant words interplayed with actions to reshape how we can think, feel and move through our lives. Dr. King led, guided, fasted, marched, sang and spoke with others as a servant leader. Do we make space in our own lives to emulate and embody those practices?
With this new year starting, we have the opportunity to set intentions, like Dr. King and his followers could hold a new vision beyond the ugliness and cruelty of the world that faced them and still faces us all. What if we respond to injustice, intolerance, and ignorance with forgiveness and hearts bigger than the smallness of the world?
Forgiveness, an attitude and orientation of strength, pushes beyond the limits others tried to impose on us while it also pushes us beyond the very limits we have previously accepted. Nelson Mandala, after 27 years of imprisonment made the choice to leave both prison and bitterness behind him. Is there any imprisonment or bitterness worth re-tasting on a daily basis? Consider the freedom that comes with letting go our bitter righteousness.
Years ago someone proposed that it’s impossible to simultaneously love and be right. As soothing as being right is, does it bless and give like love.
I’m passing along the invitation to work toward being someone with whom other people enjoy being. I can ask, “What’s the highest and best I can be? What presence can I bring to this situation?” What might those questions do for you and your daily life this week?
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amare’ from 1-16-22 Sunday Service
“What Wonder Offers”Today’s lesson offered me insights about how to rekindle wonder and why to live with wonder.
We get trained to seek safety, routines, and predictability. Risks have left us broken, and who wants to feel that way. If we let ourselves stay small, we come to believe we can stay safe and unharmed. Limiting our expectations protects us from disappointment. Imaging the worst makes us believe we have prepared ourselves for the worst.Perhaps as you read all that, you felt yourself contracting or you felt the walls closing in on you. That’s how it felt to write it. When we catch ourselves listening to the external and internal voices to stay small, we can tell ourselves to stop. We can watch negativity rather than giving it the driver’s seat in our lives. We can choose to put it in the backseat, in the trunk or out of the vehicle altogether. Wonder lives as close as our breath, our miraculous bodies, our wild hearts, our creative inquiring minds, our longing souls. The simplest reflection on our lives quickly reveals wonder. Listen to laughter. Let yourself drink in the beauty of the world around us. Revel in relationships we see and those we have. Live with gratitude.In the space of wonder, all the majesty in the universe around us counters any limitations we’ve let ourselves believe. Wonder restores our oneness, our curiosity, our capacity to learn. Wishing you surprising wonders!
Rev. Vaughan Amare’ from 1-09-22 Sunday Service
Happy 2022!
Some years ago, a teacher taught me about the power of setting intentions instead of making resolutions. Resolutions require ongoing willpower. They don’t have renowned for their success. By contrast, intentions contain their own inspiration. Ask yourself why you want what you want. For example, my intention of love lets me look at everything in my life through the lens of love. My spouse, holding the intention of wonder, chooses to see the world through the lens of wonder.
Rather than treating life as something to get through to go somewhere else (mere existence), entertain the notion of life as spectacular, rapturous right now. Life breathes us into each moment. Wake up each moment as the gorgeous, glorious being you already are. Living is a verb that invite our conscious, active, intentional participation.
Consider this message for yourself: I live, intentionally expressing everyday wonder.
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amaré from 1-02-22 Sunday Service
Hello,
You may chuckle at that outlandish suggestion! We have so many things to do. We face deadlines, expanding to-do lists, and the seemingly endless hustle and bustle around us. In spite of that, we each have the power to make a quiet space.
Perhaps our inner critic has stopped us from pausing to listen. However, we have access to inner wisdom that can take on that most vocal critic. We can recognize the wisdom when we find ourselves either peacefully soothed or passionately electrified.
If we look back to past experiences, maybe we got quiet because of an injury or sickness. Rather than letting the universe hit us with that kind of two by four, we might choose quiet time. We might start a journal. We might dedicate two minutes of breathing in and out. We might catch ourselves the next time we think we have to figure out a solution to our circumstances. Let’s remember that we live in a vast universe, with people around us who do care about us. Despite all the encouragement to manage things on our own, we can give people the gift of giving to us.
Do we notice that we have things we do where we lose track of time? Those experiences uplift and inspire us. Those experiences show us the gifts we have to share with the world—our centers of quiet.
How often do we tell ourselves that some person, condition, or circumstance stresses us out? What if we start to recognize that we react with stress to those things? What if we step back and decide how to respond and proceed? What if we remember that we can get out of situations mentally, emotionally and physically?
In this holiday season when seven of the world’s major religions observe 29 holidays, we can remind ourselves of the blessings that we have and the blessings that we are.
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amare’, from 12-12-21 Sunday Service
Good morning,
You’ve heard a number of reflections about gratitude. To keep our list going, consider three more.
Deliberately write down what we identify gratefully. Maybe we keep a journal by our bedside or a folder in our computer. We may form a daily list starting our day or write ideas as freeform poetry noticing what works well, what we seek, what we do for others, what choices we make (thoughtfully pausing or rousing our courage to speak truth rather than falling back into that cynical or sarcastic remark.)
Give future thanks to the universe for the good that is on its way to us. We can easily get bogged down with what at this moment troubles us. However, consider that Mother Theresa and Martin Luther King Jr. both faced their shares of difficulties. I use these well known figures as real stories for inspiration. Such stories can help us reset our hearts and souls—rather than overwhelm us with their magnitude.
Finally, play with the notion of unconditional gratitude. Rather than focusing on particular things, experiences, feelings, what if we open ourselves to indulging ourselves with the feeling of gratitude. What if we choose to keep forgiving ourselves and others because we make that choice rather than waiting for ourselves and others to step up and own the responsibilities we believe we should take? What if we dress ourselves with gratitude as we prepare to get up and go into the world?
Tonight will be the second night of Channukah. For someone unfamiliar with the story, a small group of Jewish people fought against overwhelming odds and won. But when they won they discovered that the enemy had desecrated their beloved temple. They looked around and found that they did not have what they needed to cleanse the temple. Nevertheless they started with the task of cleaning it. With their courage to start, a miracle occurred creating enough oil to light flames over and over for eight nights. We may think we don’t have the reserves or energy to feel gratitude. What if we take the Channukah story as a guide to simply get started no matter how limited we feel?
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amare’ from Sunday’s Service 11-28-21
Happy Thanksgiving
With the Thanksgiving holiday this week, several thoughts occurred to me. Join me to consider the origins of the celebration. Prepare for a secret source of inspiration. Realize how we can give thanks no matter what we find happening around us. Elevate gratitude with a simple, but powerful habit.First, our country tends to sell a romanticized view of pilgrims from England feasting with indigenous people. We don’t talk about the subsequent deaths of native people two years later nor the move and enslavement of indigenous men and the local enslavement of indigenous women and children. Remembering the truth, warts and all may invite us to make decisions about how to live more justly and with more kindness. Indigenous people have had practices of gratitude. Let us give thanks for what they model and practice. Second, please consider the story of my favorite movie Pollyanna–a secret I’ve kept about myself. The character’s name has turned into nickname for unduly optimistic people. However, if we pay attention to the actual story, the main character learned from her family how to see beyond disappointments. Her dad taught her to play the “Glad Game.” Rather than getting stuck on what saddens or distresses us, we can turn our focus elsewhere. She wanted a doll and got crutches. The glad game reminded her about the gift of her ability to walk without thought. Consider playing the “Glad Game” this week.Third, did you notice that you took in a breath, that your heart beats. Our bodies do so much to keep us alive without us giving any effort to making that happen. Did we have streets and sidewalks supporting us getting around? Did people open and operate stores for us so we could purchase what we need? We live in a world that continually gives to us. What happens if we commit to spending as much time grateful as we spend irritated, disappointed, worried, or unsettled?Finally, with my upbringing, this time of year leads to something called Advent. My family practiced it by sacrificing certain, chosen things. My dad gave up watermelon. My mom gave up desserts. For me with my diabetes, it bothered me to have to give up something additionally beyond what my healthy lifestyle already demanded. But I learned that rather than giving up material things, I can give up other things like self-pity, self-criticism, or judgment of others. Gratitude deepens when I release habits of heart and mind that no longer serve me. What might we consider releasing?Here are wishes for a joyous and fulfilling Thanksgiving!
Gratefully, Rev. Vaughan Amare’, from November 21, 2021 talk
Good morning,
Yesterday, I received the reminder for something which turns my life around in an instant. A teacher of mine told me, “When we turn our attention to what’s beautiful, everything else can fall away.” Here in the Pacific Northwest, the reason many of us live here includes the fact that nature looms so large in our lives. When we crest a hill as we walk or drive up, we may face mountains or views of water. Perhaps we choose to engage in activities like biking or hiking or running or walking or skiing. Consider the number of parks in the city. How many houses in this area have gardens or overgrown yards.
We may forget it, but just as suddenly we can remember: beauty is all around us. And there’s beauty the flavors of coffees and teas we sip, beauty in the songs we turn on. And you have to be expecting me to add this: there’s beauty in ourselves and the people all around us.
Beauty can be an ever present source of inspiration and source for coming back to feelings of gratitude. What if we make a point of pausing and deliberately tuning ourselves to beauty? How easy might we make our lives if we make that choice. Mary Poppins triggered a change in a household with the song, “A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down.” Let’s imagine beauty as medicine for our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls. Feel the relief and invigoration.
Surround yourself with the beauty you are.
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amare’, from November 14, 2021 service
Happy Fall Back
Good Morning,
Did you manage to get an extra hour of sleep or play or relaxation or joy? This weekend as I considered all of the ridiculous arguments and conflicts in the world, it occurred to me that perhaps rather than puzzle about seemingly crazy thoughts and feelings in the world out there, I’m better served reviewing the closer conflicts inside of me. I can’t make anybody change their minds and feelings—except for me.
To do that, here are three G’s I’m using.
- Goals. We all have goals whether we’re conscious of them or not. Do infants deliberately decide to speak and crawl and stand and grow up? Families praise steps forward, no matter how small or large. Families and children set goals without ever consciously stating them. Now we may set a goal to “get through the day.” What if we deliberate on our goals and set them? Can we bring laughter or a smile to one person? Can we offer a word of cheer or encouragement—to others or even ourselves? What a breadth, depth, height and width of possibilities in our goals!
- Gratitude. This month of November with the USA holiday of Thanksgiving may lead us to think more about gratitude. What if we take it really seriously. The settlers on the Mayflower did not survive through their goals, plans or genius. They received undeserved support from the indigenous people who chose to act with kindness and generosity. What if we let ourselves take a deep breath right now and give genuine gratitude for that breath. What if we look around us and come to appreciate something beautiful that we hear, see, taste, touch, smell? What if we come to see that each moment we have access to so much that inspires gratitude.
- Going on. So many of the stories we heard as children ended with the line, “and they lived happily ever after.” It sets the notion that we could have definite endings. We set goals and we make them or not and we may think that we have finished. Take a breath here because I’m going to call out the elephant in the room and the naked emperor: Every ending is the place for a new beginning. The places where we arrive are our new starting points. We now have a broader and new perspective. We really can’t simply settle down. Relationships and living and working and loving all require ongoing effort and commitment and new contributions from us.
We’re achieving and setting goals. We’re remembering the simple and powerful practice of giving thanks. We choose to take the energy we find within or that we can borrow from others around us and we go on. Happy fall back!
Gratefully,
Vaughan Amaré from 11-07-21 service
Belated Happy Halloween
Hello,
As life returns to “normal,” and people in the US re-engaged in trick or treating, how did each of us mark the day? Did we dress-up? Did we watch scary movies? Did we turn out the lights and ignore knocks on the door? It lends to the broader question of how we respond to our fears. Our bodies adapted so that we would experience fear, yet to what extent do we engage with our fears? Do we pass through, hoping they end and simply go away? Do we ignore them? Or do we use them as energy to guide our steps forward consciously?
I learned that small dosages of fear offer specific benefits. For example, fear guides our bodies to release neurochemicals which in turn heighten our senses and let us burn more calories. With all the input coming from the barrage of electronically-based stimulation, many of us may find ourselves overstimulated and over-frightened. Perhaps we respond by working to numb ourselves and shut off our feelings. What if we choose to make space to sit in stillness, feeling what we feel and letting it teach us? What if we see the fear as a light guiding us to something new?
Eleanor Roosevelt suggested that we do something that scares us everyday as a way to remain fresh, vital and alive. I propose listening to that American icon, and following the suggestion. Finally, celebrate ourselves for what we allow to emerge! Maybe we do that by dressing up and treating those around us.
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amare’, from 10-31-21 service
Good Morning,
Carrying forward the theme of moving forward in community, here’s a salve for contending with contentions that arise within and across communities. The genocide of the Indigenous Peoples should remind us that our perspectives about history and facts relies on who we empower to tell their stories. Dr. Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. spoke boldly of a dream. That dream, like many other dreams arises despite pain, suffering, injury and harm.
Look towards our dreams to deliver inspiration, guidance and transformation. Whether the “dream” represents a bold, declared vision of possibilities and promises, or the much more private meanings delivered through our hearts and minds while we sleep, our dreams may inspire us. We may feel a new energy and excitement even in the face of personal and shared challenges.
Our dreams may guide us. Hebrew scripture conveys the dreams of a younger son named Joseph and a prophet named Elijah. For Joseph, he dared to share his bold dream of leadership to his brother. They responded by beating him and selling him into slavery (their compromise over simply killing him). Despite all of Joseph’s trials, he never gave up on seeing that dreams can hold messages. His skill with interpreting dreams led him to the Pharoah of Egypt, which in turn led him to manage the care of the Egyptian people and its surrounding communities (and ultimately his own siblings). The prophet Elijah learned from his dream that the power sustaining the world does not always show up as we would predict (like winds, earthquakes and fires), but as something far more subtle—whispered messages through the silence. Both characters learned to keep on their paths no matter the difficulties that presented themselves.
Finally dreams may transform us. Years ago, a dream recurred over and over, night after night—putting me in the backseat of a car with no driver. This dire situation showed me the need to figure out how to drive the car so it would stop crashing at the dream’s conclusion. It taught me about reclaiming my own personal power, to stop feeling helpless and to do whatever was possible. My dream let me see a choice that did not seem clear to me in my waking hours. That dream let me make slow, gradual changes in my daily actions, but dramatic instant transformation with my realization of a possible meaning within the dream.
Let our dreams move us so that we become agents of inspiration, guidance and transformation in the communities where we find ourselves.
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amare’, from 10-10-21 Service
Good Morning
Yesterday taught me more about the Zulu way of living called Ubuntu: “I am because we are.” This lets me release the belief in DesCartes’ notion: I think therefore I am.
What do I do when I let go of insistency to reflect on my thoughts as the basis of my existence and turn to my relationships in the world as my very foundation?
How might I spend more time and energy treasuring the generosity of people and the world around me? This breath in, it came freely. This breath out goes as easily as I might release it. Life breathes me without any demand beyond participating.
Perhaps my parents, family, friends, loved ones did not always treat me as a character in a fantasized, made-up story. Certainly, frustrations and obstacles came up before me. Do I focus my thoughts and feelings on my perceptions of how people failed me? How much bigger and brighter my world looks when my attention turns towards those who teamed with me, calling me to rise up, calling me to be grander than what felt possible?
Take this invitation to see our community—friends, family, loved ones, and even challenging one—as the foundation of our lives.
Gratefully,
Vaughan Amare’, from 10-17-21 Service
Good Morning!
This weekend, a friend and mentor taught me new ways to approach problems.
First, I have to see/name/admit the presence of the problem. How often do we just tell ourselves to push through, rise above, or ignore our problems? Denial proves an ineffective solution.
Second, I have to confront my fear(s). See/name/admit my fears. So much energy gets wasted on worry about the fear.
Third, remind myself that I have “got good.” For younger folk, there was an old ad campaign “Got Milk.” The good in the cosmos all around me is bigger than my problem, bigger than my fear. Do I attend to that good or let my problems and fears overwhelm me?
Fourth, I let myself and remind myself to envision the highest and best outcome for myself and everyone else involved. Yes, I know that sometimes my problem has limited my field of vision to something so small that imagining good for others feels difficult. Choose to push through the problems, difficulties and fears to entertain the highest and best vision for both myself and all others around me.
Fifth, I act “as if.” I keep leaning into imagination. This could be called “faking it till I make it.” The character Indiana Jones stepped out in faith, the Fool leaping into the unknown. Others have done it, what might I lose by acting “as if”?
Sixth, simply take action. At this point, it’s better to do something rather than holding back doing nothing.
Finally, feel gratitude for future good. Let ourselves gratefully embrace what is, what can be, what will be. Give thanks. (Even though the holiday of thanksgiving is a month away, there’s never any cost to feeling gratitude.)
Gratefully,
Rev. Vaughan Amare’, from 10-24-21 Service